James Fishman | Sunstone Online

Why Reaching Out to Your Friends Matters

In the age of instant communication and non-stop interactions, it is easy to minimize the importance of reaching out to friends and family. Whether it is a call, a short text, or a simple email, it is almost always a welcome, significant, and meaningful gesture—for both the recipient and the initiator.

Research conducted by The American Psychological Association found that casual “check-ins” to the people in our various social networks mean a great deal more than we usually think.

“Even sending a brief message reaching out to check in on someone, just to say ‘Hi,’ that you are thinking of them, and to ask how they’re doing, can be appreciated more than people think.”
Peggy Liu, associate professor of business administration with the University of Pittsburgh Katz Graduate School of Business

According to the findings, the number of actual phone conversations people initiate these days is dramatically lower than in the past. Calling people is perceived to be an imposition on their time; it can feel less awkward to reach out via text or social media. But regardless of how we are creating the connection, the quick and effortless check-in is deemed meaningful, enjoyable, and important by those on the receiving end. While we might feel bad about interrupting someone’s day or taking away time from their other responsibilities, this research suggests that reaching out “just to say hi” is a powerful and important gesture.

As people, we are ingrained with the counterintuitive (and often destructive) assumption that our family and loved ones are not as interested in connection as we are, or as we’d like to be. Dr. Marisa Franco, psychologist, author, and University of Maryland assistant clinical professor, points to a “liking gap,” as the primary hindrance to most people’s communications.

Another reason people might keep themselves from calling or texting is the “beautiful mess effect.” We have a hard time inquiring about a friend or loved one for fear of having to show our own vulnerabilities and/ or being judged by that person.

To be functioning at our best, we need to be in a connected state. Just like you need to eat, like you need to drink, you need to be connected to be functioning well.

Dr. Marisa Franco

Another exploration of this issue, published in The American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, indicates that older adults link their sense of purpose directly to the positive social interactions they have on a regular basis.

With more and more Americans reporting a heightened sense of loneliness (contributing to what some are reporting as a loneliness crisis) made complicated — and intense — by pandemic-related regulations and habits, these studies underscore what we have likely known all along: a little bit (of connection) can go a long way (to easing someone else’s hardship). These two studies- and several others- draw attention to the need to connect with others each and every day. We all need to view our familial ties and friendships as critical pieces of our well-being. Even if/when making those connections seems like a burden or feels awkward, it needs to be a part of our self-care routine, just like eating healthy and exercising.

Being the Inspiration Our Kids Need Us to Be

As adults, we have the perspective and reference points necessary to identify strengths and skills in our children, our students, and those we mentor. We see their potential and we want them to succeed and thrive. Unfortunately, it is not always easy to inspire kids to dream big, reach for the stars, and achieve their goals.

They look to us for guidance when they fall; they rely on our help to conquer challenges and see beyond the barriers that stand in their way. Here are just a few ways to inspire young people to do great things from the outset.

Give them the Chance(s)

Kids have boundless imagination and copious creativity. What they need is an outlet to mobilize all their ideas and inventiveness. With enough safe opportunities to play and explore, kids will find their talents and interests. When given the chance to discover, experiment, and (even) fail, children learn about the world and what they are passionate about.

Show Support- Practice Praise

Not everything your kid will take on will interest you. You might find it hard to relate to, or even like, the sport or activity your child chooses. Either way, as their parent, you need to find a way to support the decisions and choices they have made. Your praise and validation give them courage, show your love, and foster closeness.

Giving your kid the space they need to be an individual- reinforced by your unmitigated support- gives them confidence and self-esteem which further inspire them to aspire and achieve greatness. Your son or daughter is more likely to perservere and beat down any obstacles when they know you support them; they won’t give up when things get hard because they know you are there for – and with- them.

Surround them with Positive Role Models

Children are bombarded with all sorts of input and influences. They take their queues from their peers and other role models. It is our job as parents to introduce the right people into their lives. Organizations and youth movements, like the Scouts of America, surround emerging men and women with fantastic role models and get them involved in doing good.

Just like adults, children are inspired by the things and the people they encounter each day. It is through the relationships they build and the bonds they make that they connect to things, ideals, and ideas, much bigger than themselves. Make sure that your child can foster healthy and helpful relationship in all their areas of interest. Let them learn about themselves by connecting to others.

Talk the Talk

Kids need to know they have our attention. When they are talking about their interests, focus on what they are saying, respond to their questions, and share their enthusiasm. Similarly, talk to your children about the things that inspired you to become the adult that you are. Share your successes and your hardships; show them that you, too, worked hard and achieved great things. Make sure they know that you are constantly learning, growing, and even struggling. You want your children to be inspired by the process, not only the results.

Inspiring your children starts from the very minute you become a parent. Young children are extremely receptive and impressionable, which is exactly the right time to motivate them to learn, search, and wonder. Set goals with your kids so that you can productively and positively push them toward achieving them. Every kid can do and be an infinite number of things. All they need is our love, guidance, and inspiration.

Peter Arnell: Self-Help and Branding Guru Releases New Book

In 2010, Peter Arnell wrote a book all about his interdisciplinary approach to branding. Shift: How to Reinvent Your Business, Your Career, and Your Personal Brand, is Arnell’s take on how to model big-name brands and enhance your life and everything about it. It is a first-hand account of how Arnell himself applied these mindset modifications to lose 250+ pounds and redefine himself.

Arnell has co-authored a new book, Peter Arnell: Projects 1980-2020, in which he explores, explains, and evaluates over 40 years in the branding and marketing business. In two volumes, this book sheds light on how Arnell built his unrivaled reputation and how the lifelong New Yorker carved a niche for himself in the tempestuous world of Manhattan marketing, advertising, and publishing. Scattered throughout the self-narrated content are Arnell’s own photographs. The pictures themselves are breathtaking and thought-provoking; combined with Arnell’s masterly-crafted text, the book is simultaneously bold and inspired.

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If his first book is categorized as a self-help manuscript, Arnell’s latest publication is a historic and iconic reflection on the transformative world of branding. Arnell gives readers a lot to think about as he describes working with top-tier brands like Reebok, Home Depot, Nespresso, and Pepsi. He describes the creative processes and conceptual overhauls necessary to generate change for known entities in every industry. But he also shares his unique ideas about a life and career in an unsparing and everchanging profession.

Each of the 848 pages of this book is a brilliant reflection of Arnell’s genius—as an author, as a photographer, as a branding executive, and as a New Yorker. Peter Arnell: Projects 1980-2020 is not only an enjoyable read; it is also a fascinating review of how our consumer culture is transformed by the imaginative people behind the brands we love.

Taking Shoes off at the Door

Most people probably understand, in theory, why it’s healthy to take your shoes off in the house. You might have picked up gum on the bottom of your shoe; maybe you stepped in something unseemly, etc. But most people probably don’t realize just how unhealthy it is to have shoes on in the house.

In a recent article, two scientists, Mark Patrick Taylor and Gabriel Filippelli, unpack the many reasons to abandon those shoes at the door. Here is a summary of their findings.

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They found that people actually spend 90% of their time indoors and that a third of your indoor air quality comes from things you bring into the home. Some of these items that you may bring in on your shoes include infectious germs that could be hard to treat and cancer-causing toxins from asphalt road residue and lawn chemicals. Yicks!

As they explained, “A strong focus of our work has involved assessing levels of potentially toxic metals (such as arsenic, cadmium and lead) inside homes across 35 nations…The science suggests a very strong connection between the lead inside your home and that in your yard soil. The most likely reason for this connection is dirt blown in from your yard or trodden in on your shoes, and on the furry paws of your adorable pets.”

Spring has Sprung

Aurora on the Vernal Equinox. Photo credit: Mike Lewinski

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It’s been a long winter. Do not despair, the vernal equinox is here! You might have heard something about the first day of spring arriving on March 20 this year, but you might be wondering, what exactly does that mean? One thing you certainly understand is that winter is abating, and the mild, warmer days of spring are just around the corner. Journey with me and discover why March 20, the vernal equinox, is the harbinger of a new, much-longed-for warmer season.

To put it simply, vernal, which just means spring, and equinox, which means equal night, is one of two 24-hour periods during the year when the hours of daylight equal, more or less, the hours of darkness. The reason I say “more or less” is because in most regions on Earth daytime on the equinox is a bit longer than 12 hours. That is because of the effects of the Earth’s atmosphere. But that’s a topic for another time.

From the first day of winter when the hours of daylight are at a minimum, the length of the day increases until the first day of spring and continues to increase until the first day of summer, when the number of daylight hours is the longest. From that first day of summer, until the autumn equinox, the daylight hours shrink, until once again daylight and nighttime hours are equal. And that is the continuous ebb and flow of the seasons through the year.

Generally, temperatures also begin to rise with the advent of spring. However, there are many factors that influence a region’s temperature; so for some locations, it can take considerably longer for the winter world to finally thaw.

Spring is a time of celebration all over the world. Many customs, holidays, and traditional practices are spring-based. Christian cultures calculate the date of Easter based on when spring is due. Easter eggs are a symbol of rebirth, but Christians are not the only group celebrating with eggs in the spring. There is an ancient Chinese tradition to balance eggs, also a symbol of fertility, on the day of the vernal equinox.

Persians celebrate Nowruz on the day of the spring equinox, a day that has been observed for over 3,000 years and rooted in the practices of the Zoroastrian tradition. Celebrations last about 12 days and include the purchase of new clothing, cleaning homes, and growing wheat or lentil seeds as a symbol of new growth.

Judaism famously celebrates the birth of the Jewish people during Passover and is also intimately connected to the spring, although the date does not necessarily coincide with the solar calendar’s spring equinox.

Although many people celebrate Earth Day on April 22, there are also some that have designated the spring equinox as the best day to promote the protection of the one planet that all the people of the world must inhabit, Earth.

Hiccup Removal – Old Tale or Truth?

We can probably all agree that hiccups are really annoying. They are frustrating to endure and sometimes difficult to get rid of. CNN recently did an enlightening review about all of those old tales you know about hiccup cures; and surprisingly found that many of the hiccup-removal myths that you might know aren’t actually myths. Many of them work. But they don’t necessarily work for the reason you might assume they do.

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As CNN explained, “There are few concrete medical cures for the hiccups, but experts know that stopping them ideally involves the diaphragm, the vagus nerve and the phrenic nerve.” And many of those “silly” methods that you grew up doing actually work with the diaphragm, the vagus nerve and the phrenic nerve. So while you might assume you’re going through the action of drinking water backwards or scaring your friend just because you hope it might work – it may actually work for a different reason than you assume.

Read the whole article and get ready for that backwards drinking, friend scaring experience!