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Why Reaching Out to Your Friends Matters

In the age of instant communication and non-stop interactions, it is easy to minimize the importance of reaching out to friends and family. Whether it is a call, a short text, or a simple email, it is almost always a welcome, significant, and meaningful gesture—for both the recipient and the initiator.

Research conducted by The American Psychological Association found that casual “check-ins” to the people in our various social networks mean a great deal more than we usually think.

“Even sending a brief message reaching out to check in on someone, just to say ‘Hi,’ that you are thinking of them, and to ask how they’re doing, can be appreciated more than people think.”
Peggy Liu, associate professor of business administration with the University of Pittsburgh Katz Graduate School of Business

According to the findings, the number of actual phone conversations people initiate these days is dramatically lower than in the past. Calling people is perceived to be an imposition on their time; it can feel less awkward to reach out via text or social media. But regardless of how we are creating the connection, the quick and effortless check-in is deemed meaningful, enjoyable, and important by those on the receiving end. While we might feel bad about interrupting someone’s day or taking away time from their other responsibilities, this research suggests that reaching out “just to say hi” is a powerful and important gesture.

As people, we are ingrained with the counterintuitive (and often destructive) assumption that our family and loved ones are not as interested in connection as we are, or as we’d like to be. Dr. Marisa Franco, psychologist, author, and University of Maryland assistant clinical professor, points to a “liking gap,” as the primary hindrance to most people’s communications.

Another reason people might keep themselves from calling or texting is the “beautiful mess effect.” We have a hard time inquiring about a friend or loved one for fear of having to show our own vulnerabilities and/ or being judged by that person.

To be functioning at our best, we need to be in a connected state. Just like you need to eat, like you need to drink, you need to be connected to be functioning well.

Dr. Marisa Franco

Another exploration of this issue, published in The American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, indicates that older adults link their sense of purpose directly to the positive social interactions they have on a regular basis.

With more and more Americans reporting a heightened sense of loneliness (contributing to what some are reporting as a loneliness crisis) made complicated — and intense — by pandemic-related regulations and habits, these studies underscore what we have likely known all along: a little bit (of connection) can go a long way (to easing someone else’s hardship). These two studies- and several others- draw attention to the need to connect with others each and every day. We all need to view our familial ties and friendships as critical pieces of our well-being. Even if/when making those connections seems like a burden or feels awkward, it needs to be a part of our self-care routine, just like eating healthy and exercising.

Being the Inspiration Our Kids Need Us to Be

As adults, we have the perspective and reference points necessary to identify strengths and skills in our children, our students, and those we mentor. We see their potential and we want them to succeed and thrive. Unfortunately, it is not always easy to inspire kids to dream big, reach for the stars, and achieve their goals.

They look to us for guidance when they fall; they rely on our help to conquer challenges and see beyond the barriers that stand in their way. Here are just a few ways to inspire young people to do great things from the outset.

Give them the Chance(s)

Kids have boundless imagination and copious creativity. What they need is an outlet to mobilize all their ideas and inventiveness. With enough safe opportunities to play and explore, kids will find their talents and interests. When given the chance to discover, experiment, and (even) fail, children learn about the world and what they are passionate about.

Show Support- Practice Praise

Not everything your kid will take on will interest you. You might find it hard to relate to, or even like, the sport or activity your child chooses. Either way, as their parent, you need to find a way to support the decisions and choices they have made. Your praise and validation give them courage, show your love, and foster closeness.

Giving your kid the space they need to be an individual- reinforced by your unmitigated support- gives them confidence and self-esteem which further inspire them to aspire and achieve greatness. Your son or daughter is more likely to perservere and beat down any obstacles when they know you support them; they won’t give up when things get hard because they know you are there for – and with- them.

Surround them with Positive Role Models

Children are bombarded with all sorts of input and influences. They take their queues from their peers and other role models. It is our job as parents to introduce the right people into their lives. Organizations and youth movements, like the Scouts of America, surround emerging men and women with fantastic role models and get them involved in doing good.

Just like adults, children are inspired by the things and the people they encounter each day. It is through the relationships they build and the bonds they make that they connect to things, ideals, and ideas, much bigger than themselves. Make sure that your child can foster healthy and helpful relationship in all their areas of interest. Let them learn about themselves by connecting to others.

Talk the Talk

Kids need to know they have our attention. When they are talking about their interests, focus on what they are saying, respond to their questions, and share their enthusiasm. Similarly, talk to your children about the things that inspired you to become the adult that you are. Share your successes and your hardships; show them that you, too, worked hard and achieved great things. Make sure they know that you are constantly learning, growing, and even struggling. You want your children to be inspired by the process, not only the results.

Inspiring your children starts from the very minute you become a parent. Young children are extremely receptive and impressionable, which is exactly the right time to motivate them to learn, search, and wonder. Set goals with your kids so that you can productively and positively push them toward achieving them. Every kid can do and be an infinite number of things. All they need is our love, guidance, and inspiration.

Peter Arnell: Self-Help and Branding Guru Releases New Book

In 2010, Peter Arnell wrote a book all about his interdisciplinary approach to branding. Shift: How to Reinvent Your Business, Your Career, and Your Personal Brand, is Arnell’s take on how to model big-name brands and enhance your life and everything about it. It is a first-hand account of how Arnell himself applied these mindset modifications to lose 250+ pounds and redefine himself.

Arnell has co-authored a new book, Peter Arnell: Projects 1980-2020, in which he explores, explains, and evaluates over 40 years in the branding and marketing business. In two volumes, this book sheds light on how Arnell built his unrivaled reputation and how the lifelong New Yorker carved a niche for himself in the tempestuous world of Manhattan marketing, advertising, and publishing. Scattered throughout the self-narrated content are Arnell’s own photographs. The pictures themselves are breathtaking and thought-provoking; combined with Arnell’s masterly-crafted text, the book is simultaneously bold and inspired.

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If his first book is categorized as a self-help manuscript, Arnell’s latest publication is a historic and iconic reflection on the transformative world of branding. Arnell gives readers a lot to think about as he describes working with top-tier brands like Reebok, Home Depot, Nespresso, and Pepsi. He describes the creative processes and conceptual overhauls necessary to generate change for known entities in every industry. But he also shares his unique ideas about a life and career in an unsparing and everchanging profession.

Each of the 848 pages of this book is a brilliant reflection of Arnell’s genius—as an author, as a photographer, as a branding executive, and as a New Yorker. Peter Arnell: Projects 1980-2020 is not only an enjoyable read; it is also a fascinating review of how our consumer culture is transformed by the imaginative people behind the brands we love.

Happiness is Key

Everyone wants to be happy. This feeling, emotion, state of being – is a hard one to define. While we may not be able to pinpoint what exactly happiness is per say, we can safely assert that it is something we all strive for and is objectively viewed as positive.

So, what are the benefits of happiness?

There are many theories on the subject. A series of studies conducted in 2012 found a connection between psychological and physical well-being. Those who displayed optimistic psychological qualities, like happiness and positive thinking, were also found to be at lower risk for cardiovascular issues. Laura Kubzansky, one of the Harvard School of Public Health researchers who published these findings, clarified that people who exhibit a positive sense of well-being seem to have an easier time living physically healthy lifestyles. She suggests that healthy habits such as eating a balanced diet, exercising, and getting a good night’s sleep may be recognized as beneficial activities in achieving long-term goals by those whose mindset is more optimistic.

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A more recent study in the Canadian Medical Association Journal concluded that people ages 60+ who reportedly “enjoyed life” were less likely to develop a disability over an eight-year time frame, and were physically more mobile. While the studies do not prove a causal relationship, we can learn that there is a correlation.

The next question is, then, how can we maintain a more positive mindset?

Many psychologists recommend mindfulness techniques. The mindfulness approach places an emphasis on the here-and-now; living in the moment and being present. Some enjoy keeping a gratitude journal. Others notice an increase in satisfaction when they’ve helped another person.

Whatever method you choose, you can rest assured that maintaining a good sense of well-being is correlated with physical health and beneficial to one’s overall happiness.

Winter Smart: Staying Warm & Safe

It’s cold outside and we are all just looking for ways to combat the chill. The New York City Fire Department, headquartered at New York City’s Brooklyn Commons, issued some safety tips for staying cozy and cautious this winter.

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Save the Space: Turn off or unplug space heaters when leaving a room. Leaving a space heater unattended increases the chances of a devastating fire. Always place a space heater at least three feet away from any combustible substance.

Shut It: When escaping a fire, closing the door can contain the flames, reduce the damage, and give more people time to get out safely. Prevent fumes, smoke, and heat from spreading to hallways and stairwells by isolating the fire behind a closed door.

Be Alarmed: Install smoke and carbon monoxide detectors in your home and office. Test them regularly to make sure they are working and replace the batteries frequently. Early detection of a fire or gas is the best way to prevent serious injury and harm.

Call 911: As soon as fire, smoke, or gas is detected, call emergency professionals. Do whatever is necessary to ensure everyone’s safety; do not try to combat the blaze yourself.

Have a Plan: Having—and practicing—a thoughtful fire escape plan ensures that everyone knows what to do in an emergency. Regular fire drills at work and home mean that everyone knows where the closest exit is and how to escape safely. Make sure that all fire exits are clear and properly marked; furniture should never block an escape route.

Keep it Clean: Regular cleaning of hot water heaters, chimneys, furnaces, and boilers is essential. Lint, dirt, and other residues can build up in these appliances and catch flame. Check the user manual or with your landlord for proper instructions on how to clean these machines.

Don’t Be Burned: While thermal burns, caused by flames or hot liquids, are the most common home heat-related injury, frostbite and chemical burns are also a winter hazard. Make sure to wear proper gear when frolicking in the snow or on the ice.

The Best Book of the Last 125 Years?

It’s an interesting question. If you were asked to decide on the absolute best book of the last 125 years, what would you say? And would other people agree with you? Or would you be an outlier? The New York Times recently put this question out to its readership. And it’s not the biggest surprise to see which book was selected – considering that most people believe that it’s an incredibly impactful piece of literature.

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What is, perhaps, even more interesting is to take a look at the top 25 books that they compiled in order to come up with a winner. How many of these books have you read? Which did you love, and which did you not feel warranted being part of this list?

As 2022 begins, it’s a fun time to consider the books that you want to add to your reading list for the coming year. What do you hope to gain from your reading time? Do you want to join a book group to discuss these books? These are the types of interesting questions that we can all ask ourselves as we look through the New York Times list and plan the year ahead for ourselves.